Rules

August 11, 1995 was a fateful day in my life. I spent many years waiting for this day. I had for almost 5 years thought about it. For over a year I was planning for it. I had changed my life in order to meet the demands of that day. I had spent countless hours praying and even took two fasting retreats about this day. Hours upon hours of writing and thinking and hoping and wondering and a lot of money spent. I had incredible moments of being excited and dreadful moments of thinking it would never come.

What was that day you ask? Well it was the day I married my beautiful bride, Heather. Now with all my efforts to prepare for being a husband, with all the books I read and the counseling I took, I was never told about the unwritten “rules” of marriage. Granted, I knew about the written ones like:

1. Be faithful to her. As long as we both live I am going to be hers alone.

2. To provide for her. I’m going to meet her needs.

3. To be committed to her. For better or for worse.

But some of the unwritten rules took me off guard that I later found out about, like…

1. I am to know what I want for dinner.

2. I am not to make fun of her before 10 a.m….err scratch that…at all

3. I am to say out loud what I am thinking.

Rules that govern our life, but if I saw our entire relationship as a bunch rules I had to keep, I wouldn’t be very happy. But because I love my wife I find joy in being a good husband. I would do anything for her, and so doing the dishes, or putting the lid down on the toilet, or other extravagant acts of sacrifice are a joy for me—most of the time (except cleaning that pond out back…aughhh)

How many times have you wanted to be received with love but instead got a bunch of rules to follow? I don’t know if it was a church that taught you a lot of traditions and rules and regulations, or if it was just your assumption. But my guess is that if you never got past the rules you never really got around to studying the Gospel of Jesus or the Scripture. A Gospel that tells us why the rules are there, that they are only fulfilled God’s love and grace.

Instead you might have gotten guilt each weekend based on religious affiliation to rules. And when found short you were shown the door and told you where not wanted. If that is you; I know that the Ruler, Jesus Christ, would love to have you come back. He would love to have you come closer. I know His love and grace is greater than any love you have experienced. I am sorry for those experiences, I have had my own as well, but don’t let that hurt keep you from the healer. Seek Him and you will find Him and then the rule will fall into place.

And for those of you that just love the rules, please hear me. We must define Christianity, first and foremost, as the following of Jesus Christ. We cannot expect to recruit the world to a set of standards that we would never live by or follow if it wasn’t for a love relationship with Jesus Christ. They’re not going to get on board with that—unless it’s because they know Jesus. So it must, first and foremost, be about following and loving Christ.

(1 John 4:19) “We love because he first loved us.”