Just The Two Of Us

Relationships are a mystery in many ways. They set us free but they also tie us down. They provide the greatest joy and can also pass out prolific pain. We long for a relationship that is fulfilling but struggle to find the fullness. Over the years of being around my wife I have learned a thing or two, like not to do the laundry (cause I always mess it up). But the best lesson did came from God BEFORE we said “I do”.

The Bible says…
(Proverbs 27:18) “He who tends a fig tree will eat its fruit…”

When I read that passage I was on a prayer and fasting retreat asking God about my future. (BTW a good idea to seek God about your tomorrows) It struck me that the type and condition of my relationships are a direct reflection of my effort to care for them. Until I saw this I thought relationships and marriage were a mixture of finding the right person, luck and a little providence. I still believe in God’s providence but once He lights the way it’s up to us to walk that path and stick to it. Luck as nothing to do with a healthy marriage and finding that “sole mate” is not a critical as we think it is.

Instead we seek God for our spouse and when we find that potential person our “courting” time (evotional to follow on dating) becomes our first chance to apply the “tending principle” from Proverbs 27.

Some of us have approached our marriages thinking it’s about how the other person serves me and some of you have lived this out so much that your current marriage relationship is a dead, withered tree. Instead of realizing you have not watered, nurtured and cared for the tree, you just stand there yelling at the tree waiting for it to produce some fruit for your enjoyment. For years I would do this, I would say emotionally and sometimes verbally, “I am going to withhold my care, compliments and concern for you until you give me what I want FIRST!”

And there it is, a selfish motive, remember Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve. Marriages are one of the best blessings you will ever have in life as long as the two of you apply the “tending principle.” Why not try it this week, tend to your spouses needs, care for him or her and see the effects of the water soaking the ground. Don’t expect fruit right away, keep giving into your relationship and in due season it will produce something for you.