I do or I don't?

August 11th, I said the words “I do” looking into the eyes of my beautiful wife. Those words changed my life. Two simple words that when said had not been lived yet. Honestly it’s easy to say something but hard to live it out. Why? Well, large in part it’s due to life! That pesky “IF” in the middle of the word. It seems to really get in the way of our “I do’s”.

Two years later in a townhome thousands of miles away from that church, I was faced with the question again. I did not realize it until later, but I our marriage was at that point of decision again and I had to determine if I was going to say “I do” or “I don’t”.

Many couples today live with an “I don’t” hidden away in their hearts towards the one they promised to cherish and love. Most of the time we cover it well, but it still comes out in moments of frustration when our selfish motives churn up the waters of “me-ism”.

I had to make that choice the day we got married and to my surprise I had to make that choice again two years later. The first time was for the cameras the second time was for my commitments. I am happy to tell you I said “I do” all over again even through selfishness, through my pain. I have never regretted saying those words and never will. As a matter of fact I committed to saying those words over and over as needed in my marriage

Some of you today have either told your spouse “I don’t” or have determined in your heart this destructive vow. I challenge you to be honest about it and ask your spouse to forgive you. Then commit to saying “I do” all over again. This tends to the tree of your marriage and the fruit that has been missing will return.

“He who tends a fig tree will eat its fruit…” (Proverbs 27:18)

Guy 101

THIS IS FOR LADIES (GUYS DO NOT READ!!!)

The very differences you see in the person you love are the reasons you love them! What I mean is you did not marry a clone of yourself and you are thankful for that. You may not realize it, but that fact brings your relationships to life! But those differences can really mess up things. Let me help a bit, a little Guy/Gal 101.

Ladies: Listen up this one is for you!
God created men to initiate which means they work better when they make the first move. God then placed in men risk, which complies with the first move cause they don’t often wait for all things to settle. Again, there is more. God created men to compete, don’t worry good competition cleanses men’s souls. This means we have great resolve to finish the task. And finally we are loyal, extremely loyal and faithful! Which means we are not easily swayed away from convictions.

Great Pastor Paul, but what does this mean? Well, ladies as a result you often walk in fear of our riskiness and try to make the first move yourself so it’s safer. This removes much of the spiritual, emotional and even physical strength of a man. You have to imagine yourself as the plug in those bathtubs in your house. It is impossible to take that soothing bath without a drain stop. That keeps the water in. That’s you! You are the drain stop and you keep the water in the tub of your man’s life. If you pull the plug it’s like sitting in an empty tub—ewww what lady likes that! Yet, it also means that if you don’t let him compete and conquer, little gets done and he will start to be faithful to destructive things.

Since Men need HONOR and Women need LOVE, I am challenging you to do one thing this week to Honor the man in your life and Love the women in your life, think of it and do it!
BTW: I will be asking on Sunday, so do your homework.

(Psalm 127:1, 3) “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.”

Gal 101

THIS IS FOR GUYS (LADIES DO NOT READ!!!)

The very differences you see in the person you love are the reasons you love them! What I mean is you did not marry a clone of yourself and you are thankful for that. You may not realize it, but that fact brings your relationships to life! But those differences can really mess up things. Let me help a bit, a little Guy/Gal 101.

Gentlemen: Listen up this one is for you!
God created women to nurture which means they have the ability to see needs better than men. God created in them a need for security which means they are a stabilizing force in your life. But that’s not all, they also are crafted with intuition which means their discernment is usually higher than men and they perceive more. And finally they need community which translates into being more social and verbal.

Great Pastor Paul, but what does this mean? Well, guys as a result we often react the wrong way and think the nurturing is nagging, the security is squeezing, the intuition is ineffective and there community is confusing. If she is cold, her spirit is closed and you most likely hung up the "closed for business sign" Love her the way SHE needs it and things will change!

Since Men need HONOR and Women need LOVE, I am challenging you to do one thing this week to Honor the man in your life and Love the women in your life, think of it and do it!
BTW: I will be asking on Sunday, so do your homework.

(Psalm 127:1, 3) “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.”