Memories and Maturity

Do you remember your childhood?  I mean the whole thing?  Na, neither do I, but it’s funny how there are certain memories that stick and are easy to recall.  I remember the first time I lit off an M-80 firecracker and the riding 4 wheelers around the wheat filled landscape of Colorado.  I remember Saturday morning cartoons and corn pops!  I also remember this day when the whole family was driving into Denver to do some grocery shopping at the larger grocery store.  The drive was about 30 minutes because we lived in the country and most of the way there my parents where in an argument.  Funny how I remember that….well when we pulled into the parking lot I sat up from the back seat and told my parents… “What you are fighting about is just stupid!”

Needless to say I remember what happened next very well as their attention shifted to me….opps!  What got me frustrated was they could not even remember what started the argument.

Ever been there?  I think those moments teach us we need more maturing.  The Bible tells us “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”  (Psalm 73:26)  It never amazes me how hard it is to do something responsible for my irresponsibility.  I really do think it is one of the hardest things a person does. 

When we ask for forgiveness we go against every grain of our being that employs defenses like denial, excuses or rationalizations.  So regardless of whom it is, our spouses, friends, kids, employers or Jesus Himself, seeking forgiveness is our healthiest course of action.

During this Christmas season you will be offering many gifts to others.  Gifts you spend time, money and energy to put together and give away.  Why not give the best gift that truly represents what Christmas is all about…forgiveness.

Bad Days

Bad days—everyone has them.  And when you are in the middle of one, you often feel as though it will never end. What is the secret of triumphing over the hardship of hurt?  Forgiveness!  Everyone needs to have a framework for processing bad days, because they happen to all of us.  God’s Word tells us how…

(Hebrews 12:2)  “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Here is the framework… “Forgive anyone—no, everyone—who seems set on ruining your life.”  I know it’s hard but it’s what God does and it’s what we have to do chose to do in order to experience God. 

Now, I realize that some situations are so difficult that a simple email or electronic devotional won’t answer the “how” or the “why”, so let me encourage you to aim those seemingly impossible situations and questions at God not man!  In the meantime I would like to offer help at the point of where many people get stuck.  Many people chose not to forgive because of a misunderstanding of what forgiveness is.  So let me tell you what it is NOT.

Forgiveness is not…

1.)  Minimizing what the person did. (Regardless of who was right or who was wrong, you were wounded in the transactions and that creates wounds that don’t just disappear.  Minimizing that actually hinders a person’s healing.  Instead take the maximum hurt of what happened to God, just don’t hold it over that person’s head.)

Forgiveness is not…

2.)  Resuming the relationship without changes.  (When offense occurs, relationships either end or at best are put on hold.  Getting that relationship back up and running will require change and a commitment that what happened will not happen again.)

Forgiveness is not…

3.)  Instant restoration of trust.  (We often don’t realize how valuable trust is until we break it.  Trust is naturally given, but once broken it now has to be earned back, it’s just the way people work.  People that are serious about forgiveness will be willing to earn back trust.)

In the end you and I are inadequate to cross this gap but a sensitive and loving God can take care of you and also those around you.  He can make the struggles and uncertainty become an embrace of certainty and encouragement.  God brings finishes with a purpose and an end with meaning. 

Where does it all start?  It all starts with us making the choice to cross over to forgiveness.  Will you give that gift this Christmas season?