HONOR YOUR PARENTS

Principle number 5, HONOR YOUR PARENTS

In today’s view of the home and parenting it is almost offensive to say what is stated above. The actual honoring of the parental position of the home is more in theory than in practicality today. In an age of questioning authority, personal entitlement and downright selfish rebellion the parental role has been disavowed and often shoved to a Tuesday night sitcom in which it also gets little praise.

Now I know I am being harsh, but my harshness does not come from being a victim thus I am trying to find healing by spewing my own venom, but from a hurt/healed background and from the heart of a father. I am privilege to raise two grand, spectacular children and so I have seen it from both sides. The side of the child and the side of the parent.

Come to think if it, I bet you have as well. I know all of you where a child at one point and most of you grew up to be a parent or at least have dealt with children in your life. So we have our good stories, our bad stories and the ones that we remember when we crack open the scrapbook. Maybe those stories come from a good family environment and so you don’t struggle with this one as much. But maybe those stories come from dads that were never present or abusive. Maybe they come from moms that could not or would not care for you even strung out on their own pain. So you struggle with this idea, even to the point of not reading past my first line.

“No, I could never honor that person….what they did to me was so disgusting that the best I could hope for is to tolerate them!” Let me say that I am sorry if you have gone through this much pain and rejection. Let me also say that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and He will be tomorrow. He is trustworthy, loving, and will remain in your life past all human failure! Trust in Him and release your pain today, you won’t regret it! But also don’t be fooled that your broken home was the reason why you did not honor your parents, I have known many a good home in which the “sliver-spoon” children failed to honor their parents even though their parents did little to deserve such disrespect. Additionally I have known people that come from those broken homes that have found a place of healing and a place of honor for their parents that dishonored them.

How, how does one start this process? To answer the question, let me first celebrate with you because if you genuinely asked the question you have already taken your first step. AWESOME!

The next step it to look at yourself and stop blaming them for your life. That’s victimization and it’s the opposite of honor. It will cause you to be weak in mind and in spirit and will keep you from admission of what you have done. Yep, I said it, somewhere in the process you played a role in the dishonor. I don’t know what or how much but healing and honor can’t fill the same place as unforgiveness and bitterness. You have one or the other, you are either coming out of one, or going into the other. The choice is up to you based on what you are willing to admit. And that is honestly where it starts. I know those words are hard to hear because of the pain you carry and the violations that may still exist to this day, but it has to happen for you to get to a place of honor with your parents.

It will get easier with God’s help, which is the second step, you need God’s help with this one! You will need His forgiveness and tenderness to infuse the process. He is a very tender God that will right every wrong done on planet earth. Hear this Scripture:

“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he leads justice to victory.” (Matthew 12:20)

So while you wrestle with memories and experiences from your painful past or present and choose to lay your hurt and pain at the feet of Jesus you will find strength in the middle of weakness and comfort in the middle of pain. Remember that God tells us in the 5th commandment that doing so will lead to a long life. It includes prosperity, blessing and happiness. It’s the first commandment that comes with a promise! Think about that, it’s so important and God knows it can be so difficult that He gives you a promise to get going.

When you follow God and His principles of life they never fail you, you will always be blessed as a result. Let me pray with you….

“Heavenly Father, I pray today with my friends here that carry dishonor for their parents because of the pain that has been caused from poor parenting. I pray that each of them will first put their pain in your hands today and stop holding on to it and stop wasting energy trying to make their parents pay for their mistakes. Instead I pray with the same passion they would surrender those experiences to you and receive healing. I pray they would have the courage to ask for forgiveness in the areas that you reveal they are also played a part in dishonor. I pray for their parents that they would come to know you Jesus and be saved and renewed. May your precious love flood over them today and show them your ways are right and true. May they apply them wholeheartily without reservation and live a long life. In Jesus Name—amen”

One last statement before I close this evotional. Boundaries with people are very important. You can still honor your parents but keep them to the boundaries you have established, notice I did not say walls! Boundaries define where and how the relationship will work, those are for each human being regardless of age. So you can honor them, not for what they do or have done, but simply because God choose them to bring you into the world.

Burning Out On Life

Principle number 4, OBSERVE HIS DAY

What do you do to unwind? For me it has changed over the years based on my interests. When I was in high school, I would play basketball until the grip was worn off the ball. In college I would watch movies and order pizza with my friends. As a young married couple my wife and I would organize our house (yeah we are weird) and today I really enjoy being with my family. I wonder how many people would put going to church on that list.

Through all of those days gone by one thing has remained a constant in my life, a desire to seek Jesus with everything in my heart and mind. I have had to make some really tough decisions in life as I am certain you have had to as well. In each fork in the road the path I took was a result of my singular pursuit of Jesus and His wisdom and plan for my life. He is my primary passion, my “one thing!”
Out of curiosity I did a little search through the Bible of the phrase "one thing". There were four instances in very familiar passages that give great insight into what our primary passion is to be.
In Psalm 27:4, David prays, "One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord, and seek him in his holy temple."
In Luke 10:41-42, after Martha urges Jesus to reprimand her sister for leaving all the work to her and choosing instead to sit at His feet, Jesus replies, "Martha, Martha... you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her."
In Luke 18:22, the rich young ruler, after asking what he must do to inherit eternal life, and hearing Christ's question in response about the ten commandments, assures Jesus that he has kept each of the commandments since he was a boy. Hearing this, the Lord looks at him, knowing that the ruler has fallen into the classic pitfall of wealth by allowing his possessions to possess him, and says: "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give it to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come follow me."
In Philippians 3:10-13, Paul asserts that his one, overarching ambition is to know Christ. He says, "But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining to what is ahead, I press on toward [that] goal."
One would think this is standard operation for a Christian, that through the up’s and downs of life we would find a steady flow in our relationship with Jesus. But given church attendance rates today you might question if we are really following Him. Now does going to church equate to a person’s relationship with God? No and Yes. No because church attendance is not an indicator of our love for God, but it is a result of it. It shows how much of our lives we are willing to surrender to Him. He told us and modeled for us that Sabbath observation is standard operating procedure for believers. So why do we put it in a list of optional weekly “to-do’s”? Is observing the Sabbath really optional?
See the Sabbath is actually there for our benefit, it was made for us to recharge, revise and refocus. The 4th commandment is sandwiched between the first three principles on how to have a relationship with God and the next 6 principles on how to have relationships with others. How we observe the Sabbath shows us how we put the two together. Many Christians have left the Sabbath all together and rarely attend church either.
John Maxwell says that “people join organizations but leave people.” Its funny how people can be seem to be so spiritual but avoid people all together. They tell me that they are “doing fine” in their walk with God. And some have even told me that they have a better relationship with God when they are not in church. Funny how they pull away from others and think it somehow grows their relationship with God, it never does.
I have also noticed people stay away from church because they are avoiding God all together and church is the first place they would expect to find Him, so it’s the last place they will show up. To me that makes more sense than the previous situation I have observed.
Sure there is other ways one can observe the Sabbath that is not directly connected to going to church on Sundays. But church attendance is a fundamental element to living out that pursuit of “one thing” just as knowing your “A, B, C’s” is fundament to reading, writing and speaking the English language.
I think this is why church is so powerful and so messy. It’s the intersection of where people and God cross paths and where people often collide with other people. It’s where the first 3 commandments are proven in the way we handle the last 6 commandments. My old pastor used to say “all of God’s work in our individual lives is not verified until it is demonstrated in a group of people.” So true!!!
(1 John 4:20) “If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.”
I think it’s the mess that we often avoid in church that directly points to our own issues before God. So it might be a pastor that hurt you, a place of service you expect to be filled but no one seems to care, a Christian friend that betrayed you. All of it is the Holy Spirit screaming into your life on where you need surrender. And it often happens on the Sabbath. When we avoid the Sabbath and avoid going to church we avoid the vital connection of our relationship with God and our relationship with others and it will always take more than it gives.
Best to obey God and His commands, remember they are not burdensome, instead they give life.

What's In A Name?

Principle #3, RESPECT HIS NAME

One thing we as Americans love to do is express ourselves. We do it in our choice of
clothing, restaurants and cars. We express our inward conclusions on Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare and to our friends. Some of us even vent to ourselves, now I know none of you talk to yourself, Ha!

And for most of us the common way we express what is on the inside is through our words. So to get our thoughts and points across we will use inflections, tones and even strong words. Frequently we will cuss and use words that shock people to get their attention.

The most common is a phrase used to blame God for the problems in our lives and in this world. So a tragic event will unfold and you will hear it. A surprise is unveiled and it spills out. A person is amazed at a fact and it rolls off the tongue. Actually, I am impressed how frequent the phrase is used in everyday expression. What is the phrase you might ask? Honestly I don’t think I need to type it because by the title of this note and how common it is you most likely already know.

What is most amazing is how many times I have heard it from Christians. People that say they are following God seem to be missing one of the most basic components of being a believer. Respect! Respect of God’s name and what it represents. I mean it was in that very name they were saved from hell and eternal damnation. But still they will throw His name around in awful ways. It’s on their texts, their social sites, and off their lips. I have even heard pastors say it while preaching a message making me wonder, "Is he worshiping or cussing?"

Deep down inside we know something is wrong with this flippant attitude toward God. Let’s face some facts today. We do this more than we want to admit, almost as if it’s a more acceptable form of colorful metaphors. We would never drop the bomb, the mother of all cuss words, but somehow we think that form of expression is far worse than using God’s name in vain. To be real, I would rather have you say that than ever take His name in vain again. Strange to think of it that way? Try it, status update "OMG" and then use the mother of cuss words and see what kind of reaction you receive. I bet more people will be offended at your use of the "bomb" than "OMG".

Pastor Paul, what’s the big deal? “I mean I really don’t mean it this way when I say it. And besides “God” is not His actual name, it’s a term we use and He has accepted to describe who He is, the eternal one.” True, “God” is not His actual name, as a matter of fact we don’t know what His actual name is (Rev. 19:12)

The truth is that what we say we mean, even if we don’t mean what we say. The issue here is not as much the semantics of His actual name but the matter of the heart. See, it’s not the name as much as it is what you are expressing when you use the phrase. The name just becomes the vessel that carries the condemnation to Heaven. The expression comes with an attitude, an opinion, a heart disposition. What you are saying is “God you are the problem with this situation, with the world”. “God you have no power over this situation”. “God I hate you!” What you do is align with the evil of this world and strengthen their claims against God.

(Revelation 13:5-6) “The beast was given a mouth to utter proud words and blasphemies and to exercise his authority for forty-two months. He opened his mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name and his dwelling place and those who live in heaven.”

So which side will you be on? It starts with your words!